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Thursday, 14 November 2013

To Someone who has been a world to me!

a twinge to a heart
When I was just 15 and i didn't have a thing to carry out, i found someone, and I walked on a forest road unaware that I would get defunct to the nightfall. I believed in her so much, i sank into her, it was always like I had one responsibility, just one, answering every little furore, taking her out of every little welter, picking her up and dusting her off, too much for a failure? Perhaps, but still I tried, tried inspite of how many times i was mucked, disjointed,or shivered. I was always on my responsibility, and all I wanted, is her to be that same "personification of simplicity and elegance", maybe for like a little longer, just little longer! i always held my competence on the silvers. I always tried to protect and fortify you, keep you safe and unscathed from everyone around in the tiniest ways. Nobody ever asked me to do, my vivacity was always at a peak when it was her! It was always my touch you know? It's like I had just one job, just one and I screwed it up, i blew it and for that I am sorry, maybe I didn't mean any sorry to you earlier, but i do this time and today. I guess this is what I do everytime, blow things up, scar you, keep your eyes rolling, I have always let down the people I loved, be it anybody, I let my entire bloodline down, I literally ceased her existence and her right for her dreams and desires, and now a supposed to let her down completely! Every dusk I just ask how could have done those things? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do?! God! What am I supposed to do, when the only thing in the planet I can't do is to let go of you? And in the parallel universe slaying you every second! What am I supposed to do when am petrified!?
Maybe just accept very thing and go blind in the darkness! Sometimes, too much attachment uproots all, and guess I have already done it! Felicity is in your name, and you deserve a rummage of it! I am a escapist, honestly and I walk away, far far far away from everything I have broken and can't fix!